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Comments spammers are getting clever, these days. They’re even getting smooth, as far as self-serving ignoramuses can be described as such. And if you’re an inexperienced webmaster, you need to watch out:

Because these ill-willed webmasters may be slipping through your spam filters. They may be actually managing to convince you they are adding a legitimate comment to your blog, when in fact… they’re just feeding you a ready-made piece of canned opinion, void of meaning or actual relevance.

You need to learn how to weed out these comments, for various reasons. For once, because they don’t deserve being included in your blog. Two, because through them you could be linking to questionable websites. Three, because approving spam comments will only make you (and your website) look bad.

Are you ready? We’ll not review five examples of comment spam that might look enticing, even alluring; these are some devilish, flattering remarks that may get you thinking twin on whether to “approve” or “trash”. But you need to be able to tell the difference between a legitimate commenter and a spam artist. Let’s see some real life examples:

Example 1 : The Sweet-Talking Flatterer

“I am extremely impressed with your writing skills as well as with the layout on your blog. Is this a paid theme or did you modify it yourself? Anyway keep up the excellent quality writing, it’s rare to see a nice blog like this one nowadays.”

Oh, really? This may sound like something every webmaster would like to hear, especially novice webmasters looking for some kind of recognition or approval over their efforts. But does it sound like something a real person would say? Not quite so. When something looks too good to be true, it probably is… in life as in blog commenting.

Example 2: The Eager Altruistic Affiliate

“Great blog here! Also your site loads up very fast! What web host are you using? Can I get your affiliate link to your host? I wish my site loaded up as fast as yours lol”

In a world of perfect fantasy, this would surely be how it would work. There would be people going out of their way to support an anonymous start-up webmaster such as yourself, because they would be all about looking after the small guy. In the real world, though? Most affiliates will go out of their way to purchase items through their own links and get a discount. Most people will only feign this brand of altruism when you’re already a big time blogger, and they have something to gain for getting on your life. Maybe it sounds cynical, but that’s the real world for you, lol!

Example 3: The Jolly Bonding Webmaster

“Hi, i think that i saw you visited my web site thus i came to “return the favor”.I am trying to find things to improve my website!I suppose its ok to use a few of your ideas!!”

It’s not that this kind of thing doesn’t happen for real, it most certainly does. But if it’s not happening in a specific context, it’s quite probably a farce. In short: if you don’t remember having linked to that person, if you don’t even know their website… they’re probably just pulling your leg and trying to get on your good side and bum an easy link off you. Also, most people will use e-mail for this kind of dealing, rather than leave a common at random in one of your posts.

Example 4: The technical Minded Chatter

“My programmer is trying to persuade me to move to .net from PHP. I have always disliked the idea because of the costs. But he’s trying none the less. I’ve been using WordPress on a number of websites for about a year and am worried about switching to another platform. I have heard excellent things about blogengine.net. Is there a way I can transfer all my WordPress posts into it? Any kind of help would be greatly appreciated!”

Wow, really? What a nice story… it has hints of uncertainty, it calls out for your personal opinion, it makes you feel like you’re dealing with a real person. How can this be a fake comment? Easy, because it’s getting mass-posted at thousands of other blogs; but we’ll get there by the end of this post. Again, the key to spotting this kind of fake posts is context and relevance; real people use e-mail or forums to find answers to this kind of questions. They don’t drop a comment at your blog, not unless they’re actually spam artists.

Example 5: The Casual Bookmarker/Sharer

“This was very informative. I have been reading your blog regularly last week and it has earned a place in my bookmarks.”

A reader who actually reads your blog! How exciting is that? And they’re even bookmarking your content for future reference… does that make you warm and fuzzy inside, or what? Well, it shouldn’t. In fact, when someone posts a comment announcing they’ll bookmark or share your content, more than likely they won’t. It’s just one of those things that people announce they’re going to do. They just do it, if they happen to feel like doing so. And you’ll know of it from the trackback link, when it’s true… not because they went the extra mile and written a comment stating their intentions.

Example 6: The Straight-Out Confuser

“Audio started playing any time I opened this web site, so irritating!”

At first glance, this comment will make you wonder if you have recently installed a plugin or ad system that may be broadcasting audio through your website. Then it will make you worry whether the noise could be pushing visitors away. Finally you will end up replying to this fake comment, asking for additional details. But you’ll never hear back from them, and eventually you’ll forget all about it. The spammer will get an extra link , and you’ll be forever wondering what that was all about. Not anymore, because now you know better!

Hope this helps get your perspective straight! All of the sample comments included in this post are real spam by the way – that we picked out from our real blogs. And since we wouldn’t want you to ban legitimate comments because you’re afraid you may be contributing to the success of a spam artist, here’s a fool-proof way to know whether a comment is real: Google it!

Search the entire text of the suspicious comment between “quotes”; if it turns up anywhere else other than your blog, more likely than not it was spam. Case closed!

PS – Try it now, actually: Google some of these sample comments and you’ll get overwhelmed with the massive volumes of results each one of them turns out. No wonder people are still doing this kind of link building scam. In any case, it’s neither legitimate nor appropriate, and honest bloggers must learn how to protect their domains from these genuine leeches.

PPS – This is a guest post authored by the same people who write the “computer too slow” website, where you can get all kinds of speed up computer advice. Come by anytime your sluggish computer is giving you headaches, and maybe you’ll find some relief!